The beginning (of my short story)

Everyday seems more or less the same. I wake up, roll out of bed and get some cold pizza from my mini fridge. Then, I proceed to get on the computer and waste my life away. I can’t say I completely hate this lifestyle, there is very little to no responsibility which is typically quite nice. I had no clue this was all about to change. I've had a long background in working with computers, specifically hacking large databases for an underground company called Viola. I left the job for my wife, who very soon after left me. Now I’m back in my mother’s basement.

“Danny! Come to the door, someone’s here for you. They look important”

“Mom seriously? You know this is my quiet time!” I replied a bit annoyed at the fact that she would even try to interrupt quiet time. Either way I proceeded to the door to see who was here for me. I haven’t had friends in years, I've paid all my taxes, I’m very unemployed and I really have no clue who would want me for anything.

Sunday

Today was possibly the strangest day ever. First off I just had crazy unstable emotions and had a few times where I went from totally happy to completely sad in a matter of seconds. Then I went to the store to get hot dog buns, except there were none so I went to the other store, and there were none there either. It was the weirdest thing ever. Aren't stores supposed to have a solid inventory of those kinds of things? I also saw the movie Oblivion which was a pretty good movie, and a whole lot better than I expected. My entire week has actually just been strange and I'm pretty glad it's over.

Random Post

I absolutely hate being sick, especially since nobody in my household believes me when I am. Today I am definitely not feeling good and it makes me mad that everyone thinks I'm faking it. I have a super sore throat and my entire body feels like it's failing me. I'm literally just sitting on the couch trying to stay awake.

Something else that is currently bothering me is the fact that I live in Utah. When my family first found out we were moving here we were pretty excited to be leaving where we lived, because it was boring and cold, but now I really would much rather be there. The weather isn't even what bothers me about it here, I actually think Utah is one of the most pretty places I've ever been to. My largest problem with living here is the people. There's just a completely different attitude than what I'm used to, and after two years of living here I feel like I'm justified to say I really don't like it. When I first moved here it was complete culture shock and it honestly still is. I hope that someday I can leave and never come back. I really don't think I'll miss it here at all.

Past

The past is kind of a funny thing. Especially since so many people live regretting something they've done in the past or something they didn't do which is really quite sad.

I personally am going to try my hardest to remember the good things. My favorite memory of all time is probably when I was about five or six years old and I went to Orlando, Florida. I got to go to Disney World and Medieval Times. I remember most specifically when I went to Medieval Times. Our 'knight' was the yellow one and all of the knights were throwing out roses to people in the crowd and ours threw one directly to me. I don't think I can remember ever blushing as much as I did that day. The funny thing about all of this to me at least was that I was embarrassed. This is my favorite memory because it reminds me of when I was much younger and so much more shy than I am now. I can't really remember a whole lot about when I was that little and it's nice to know that I have something to look back on.

Dreams

I don't usually remember my dreams, but I oddly enough I remembered the one I had last night. My younger brother who is thirteen turned out to be a serial killer and once my little sister (I don't actually have a little sister) found out he was trying to kill her too. There was a lot of blood and I remember feeling genuinely scared right before I woke up. Looking back at it I'm not really sure what it meant. Maybe I think my little brother is evil? All I know is I find it pretty disturbing that I even had a dream that was so messed up. I also remember having breakfast at some point in this dream and if I'm remembering correctly it was at a Denny's type of place. I guess maybe the purpose behind the entire dream was that I should have breakfast more often. The world may never know.

Embarrassed

I'm constantly embarrassed, and I'm not quite sure why. I didn't always used to be this way, I was actually pretty close to the last person to ever become embarrassed, but I guess growing up takes away that courage. I think the most embarrassed I've ever been is when I threw up the first time I went over to my boyfriends house which is about three years ago now. I lived in a far away land while he lived in Utah, and I was on a road trip traveling from my state I lived in at the time to California, and then to Michigan. I was lucky enough to stop in Utah for a day to finally get to meet the boy I'd been talking to online for almost two years before the point, and was so nervous I literally threw up. Thinking about it today still makes me want to crawl in a hole and stay there for a couple of months, but either way things turned out fine. I'm also pretty embarrassed at the fact that I talked to a guy online for two years and had a major crush on him.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

Fear

As an average human I have many fears, I'm pretty terrified by the dark, ghost movies and alien movies. Though I'm pretty scared of those things my biggest fear is that I'll never be satisfied in life. I've lived multiple places, known many people and have had many things and throughout all of these changes I've never been completely content. I guess maybe that's just me being selfish, but I really am worried that in my life I won't ever be totally happy. I don't want to go to college only to have to get a job and work until I die, but at the same time I don't want to be a stay at home type of person. I fear in the end I'll become somewhat irrelevant.